Michele Corgiat
marriage and family therapist
Great Expectations....and disappointment
by Michele Corgiat on August 23rd, 2017

Remember when you saw one of your elementary school teachers at the grocery store and you were shocked to know that they didn't live at the school?  There is something disappointing about finding that your teacher is human, has a life and needs that don't revolve around you when you are 6 years old.  As you got older,however,  you may have had deeper disappointments that involved more heart ache.  Maybe it was by a teacher, a relative, a friend, a mentor or even a pastor! Unfortunately, disappointment seems to be a part of life.  We place these expectations on others to always do the right thing.  But indeed...they are human!  They easily fall off the pedestal  that we place them on and then we find ourselves surprised and hurting.  This is exactly where the disciples found themselves in Acts 1.  Jesus had just  ascended up to heaven and the disciples are left to figure out what to do next.  They go to prayer and then address the betrayal by their friend and fellow disciple, Judas.  Peter says , "Brothers, the Scripture had to be fulfilled which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through the mouth of David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus - he was one of number and shared in this ministry."  Judas had shared in their ministry! He had walked along side them, eaten with them, witnessed miracles with them, and served the Messiah with them.   I can only imagine the grief and disappointment they felt regarding Judas.  Even though they are trying to look at it through their intellect, there hearts must have been hurting.  If you look further into this chapter, Peter continues to propose that they need to replace his place of leadership and start throwing out some names.  They again, take this decision process back to God because they know they can't make this choice without God's direction.   So how should we deal with the hurt and disappointment by others?  
  • Acknowledge your hurt.  Don't just try to move on like nothing has happened.  
  • Go to God for direction and to help your heal.  Ask him to help you cope with this hurt.
  • Pray for the person who has caused you hurt.  When we can find a place of empathy in our hearts for others, we often become less angry and realize they too are broken people.
  • Forgiveness.  Remember that forgiveness is not about making friends again, it's not about the other person, it's about you being able move forward. 
I'm not going to deny that disappointment in others stinks and it's not always so simple to move on from.  It is, however,  possible to find healing from those hurts, and sometimes even restore relationships and trust.  

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